#see here's the secret y'all - i'm not scared of anything anymore because what

[bloomingonionbitch]

(lolololol may do something silly like getting a medical tech certificate to get out of teaching so i don't have to call parents at 6:30 to tell them that i need their "Honor roll" kid to stop laughing and openly mocking other students' discussion responses).

[fandomcrazy6226]

Liveblogging Dracula Daily - May 12

Brought to you on June 26th. Yeah, I've fallen really behind, but I'm gonna try to just straight-through all of these missed entires tonight so anybody who's really following these uh... have fun with the rapid succession. Do y'all think I should put some like.. "previous"/"next" links at the end of these posts? It's about at the length to need a masterlist

Anyway, here's the entry! From what I remember this one has wall-crawling

Always good to start with facts, and better to separate them from your own memories/opinions. Objectivity is a virtue. Wait he spends all day reading and then all night talking? Jonathan I'm begging you get some sleep, you desperately need it

So Dracula is asking a bunch of questions. Question 1, can someone in England have multiple solicitors? Answer 1, yes, you can have it sounds like as many as you want, but only one can be working at a time. That's all understood so Dracula then asks if he can have more than one for like... specialty jobs.

Oooh, an example! Ok, so he asked for Jonathan's help because he doesn't live in London so that only Dracula's needs would be served... sure. And so he wants to know if he can get another solicitor to help shipping things to different areas where those other solicitors would live so it's more efficient. I guess that makes sense? Efficiency 100

And apparently there's a Solicitor Code of Conduct that says that... son of a Jesus what do these words mean I feel like I'm translating Shakespeare... the client can have one solicitor who can then direct other "local" solicitors to do local things, and the client doesn't have to do anything. Am I understanding correctly???

Ok so Dracula wants to direct his own solicitors and starts asking about paperwork and forms, and apparently he might make a really good solicitor (how many flipping times am I gonna have to type the word "solicitor")

Awww, he's so alone. And he's gonna be there for another month? Yeesh. "My needs only were to be consulted" selfish prick! This man needs to get married to his amazing fiancee!

Yeah, still a prisoner. I forgot that like... he's really not here by his own will anymore. And Dracula the master manipulator over here telling him to keep things secret and straight-up LIE to people that he's doing fine. Sharp teeth!

Heck yeah, have a secret code with your fiancee! I should make up a code to use with my boyfriend if we ever need to, that would be fun.

Spying on his mail is either gonna be a really smart move or a really stupid one, but considering how Jonathan seems like one of the brainier horror protagonists I'm guessing it's a smart one

Ok I'm gonna note this just for posterity, one letter is for Samuel F. Billington, No. 7, The Crescent, Whitby (copy-paste works wonders), the second one is for Herr Leutner, Varna, the third is for Coutts & Co., London, and the last one is for Herren Klopstock & Billreuth, bankers, Buda-Pesth. I'm guessing these are all other solicitors

Oh, boy, we're getting a warning! Don't fall asleep anywhere but your own room or you'l have... really bad dreams? That doesn't sound threatening but I'm gonna guess those bad dreams lead to something more sinister

Good idea having the crucifix over your bed, that's probably a good protection. Like maybe it protects your whole bed. Wear it when awake and hang it when you sleep

Again this scenery is so pretty when he describes it, I almost wish this was illustrated just so I could see it. I'm sure people have drawn passages like this, maybe I could look into those later

I'm.... fucking sorry??????? He's not only climbing, but climbing face-down??? I mean that's probably better, the way this is described if he'd been face-up then he'd've spotted Johnathan looking but like jesus Cuh-rist!

"I saw the fingers and toes"... was he climbing barefoot? Is he that level of freak?

Yeah I'd be pretty scared out of my mind if I saw some old dude with various biological impossiblities climbing a wall upside down with no shoes on. Gawd Dayum.

PREVIOUS / NEXT

[t33n4gedirtb4g]

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I for some reason thought it was a good idea to type this as a post thinking it wouldnt take long(I usually type my stories in my notes app and copy paste it in Tumblr) and boy I was wrong. It kept deleting itself- haha! I hate this😃

BUT I REALLY WANNA MAKE THIS SO IM DOING IT AGAIN-

Anyways, here is

Levi Ackerman x Tall Male reader

headcannons and senarios

Lets ignore that I'm actually the same hight as Levi

(Also reader is like 6'0)

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•You use him as an arm rest and he hates it- especially if he's yelling at someone and just- bam- This dude just comes up and sets his arm on his head. Though Levi acts calm infront of others. He's pissed and about to beat your ass.

(Senario time~)

*Levi yelling at Eren for y'know, being Eren(a reckless idiot :)*

[Name]: *Just fuckin comes up from behind Levi and rests his arm on his head*

Eren:....

Levi: [Name], please get off of me.

[Name]: Whyy?

Levi, now about to beat the shit out of [Name]: Because I'm doing something. Now please get off

[Name]: What are you going to do? Bite me?

Eren: *Scared for [Name] knowing he's about to get killed*

Levi: No.. But I'll kick your ass back to last year.

[Name]: Oh please, I'm your husband you wouldn't do that!- AGH- Fuck!-

•He kicked you(You can choose where) 😃👍

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(Fluff)

•When you guys are in bed you make him to lay on top of you.

•Though he never actually says it, Levi really likes it and gets slightly disapointed when you guys don't sleep like that

(Senario timee)

Once Erwin went to go wake Levi up, to see him laying on top of you and was like, 'huh 😃'

(A/N: I should also probably mention that in the other senario you guys were married, this is before that and you guys relationship was a secret. A/N over)

Erwin: Levi you're late- uh

Levi: *His soul practiacally flys out of his body* Oh shit-

[Name]: *Trying to process what's happening*

[Name]:.....

[Name]: Oh fuck-

Then you guys had to explain everything, your relationship, and how it's a secret so he can't tell anyone.

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How everyone found out, ft. Drunk [Name](I think y'all know where this is going-)

•How everyone found out that you and Levi were dating, it's intresting to say the least

•Once when [Name] got drunk, along with almost everyone besides Mikasa, Eren, and Armin.

•[Name] decided to get on a table, and just start dancing and singing

[Name]: AlL eYeS oN mE iN tHe CeNtEr Of ThE rInG jUsT lIkE a CiRcUs~

•Then Levi decided to see why everyone was being so damn noisy, noisier than usual that is.

Levi: Hey! Whats with all the- what the fuck?-

[Name]: *Gets down from the table and runs over to Levi* HeYyYy~ Whatr you doinnn'?~

•Everyone is fucking terrified for [Name], as he is now kneeling down to be face-to-face with Levi

Levi, trying to act as weirded out as he can and not smile or laugh: What the hell do you think you're doing, brat?

[Name]: So I'm the brat now?~ Thats not what you said the other night~

•Everyone is now just confused•

Levi: W-what? I think you're confused.

[Name]: I dOn'T tHiNk SoOo~

Levi: *Drags [Name] out of the room before he can say anything else*

Conny: Uh guys, I think they're a couple

Sasha: No shit! But Levi?! THE Captain Levi? Dating someone? This is news to me!

Eren: I guess it kind of makes sense, [Name] teases him all the time and doesn't get is as bad as we would if one of us did it.!

•With Levi and [Name]•

Levi: What the hell was that about?! Wait.. are you drunk?!

[Name]: Hah, yup!~

Levi: God.. you need to get to bed

[Name]: Are you maad at me?~

Levi: *Sigh*, no. I'll go explain everything to everyone, there's no point in trying to hide it anymore.

•Levi then goes back to explain everything to everyone•

Levi:....

Conny: Soo, do you have something to tell us?~

Levi: Yes, me and [Name] are a couple. I hope you guys see us the same before, even in a same sex relationship.

Sasha: Captian.. OF COURSE WE'LL SEE YOU GUYS THE SAME AS BEFORE!

Conny: HELL YEAH!

•Scenario end•

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Random headcannons-

•Idek how I thought of this but I did

•Another thing to annoy the shit out of Levi is just picking him up at random times, just whenever.

•When Levi is cleaning and he can't reach somewhere, like a shelf he'll make you do it for him- but sometimes you either A.) Pick him up so he can do it. Or B.) let him step on your back and use us as a stool( Definently not bc it's him stepping on you)

•When you guys fight, serious or not, you always crouch or kneel down, just to make him more angry.

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ʏ'ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜɪs ɪs sᴏ ʟᴀᴛᴇ Ɪ- ʜᴏᴘᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏᴇᴅ ᴛʜɪs ᴀɴʏᴡᴀʏs! Ɪᴛ ᴡᴀs ᴀᴄᴛᴀʟʟʏ ғᴜɴ ᴛᴏ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ ᴛʜɪs ʟᴏʟ. ᴀɴʏᴡᴀʏs ғᴇᴇʟ ғʀᴇᴇ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴄᴏᴍᴇɴᴅ ᴀ ᴏɴᴇsʜᴏᴛ! ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴍʏ ᴘɪɴɴᴇᴅ ᴘᴏsᴛ ғᴏʀ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ɪɴғᴏ! ʙʏᴇ ɴᴏᴡ!

-Mikey

[that-bajan-kid]

Boku No Hero Academia Chapter 292 SPOILERS

(Pogchamp)

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Imagine staying away from Tumblr, Instagram and Twitter to avoid spoilers, only to get spoiled by a fUCKING WHATSAPP GROUP CHAT I'M SO MAD RN

Y'all better believe I freaked out when I saw this. I've seen lots of theories about this too. Mostly traitor!Kirishima since Bakugou's doing his pose and the other two are posing like villains. Also fan art. So. Much. Fan art. Now on to the chapter.

We see Jeanist in the plane getting ready to jump out while the latest episode of Keeping Up With The Todorokis plays in the background and he's not too happy about Dabi using his and his family's trauma to destroy hero society. I get that Dabi shouldn't have exposed Endeavour in the most damaging way possible for everyone involved but in his defence 1) it's not his fault Enji was a peice of shit to his family and 2) Dabi's a Todoroki, being dramatic is ingrained in their DNA.

YAS JEANIST FUCK EM UP. Bakugou you really should not be standing right now, I can see the pain it's causing you all over your face. So was it really a dead body in that bag? And Dabi, didn't you also not believe it was actually Jeanist or did the months of him missing convince you it was actually him?

Dabi is glowing like the sun and smoking like a Colorado wild fire which can't possibly be healthy for him. Dabi is all "Whatever bitch, the Todoroki family drama is to strong to be defeated by mere steel wires. Right, Shouto?" as Todoroki charges towards his previously-thought-to-be-dead older brother with some fire of his own. Compress and Spinner are talking about how Jeanist actually managed to subdue Machia and Spinner is all "Doesn't Machia have super strength tho?" and I'm here sitting in my seat wondering if the anaesthetic finally kicked in as Jeanist tightens the wire around Machia.

Spinner realises that Machia has been panting ever since they arrive, aka when his orders were full filled. So now he's disparately trying to wake Shiggy up so he can give Machia a reason to stay awake but then a wild Nejire-chan appears out of no where and she looks fucking pissed the fuck off and I am here for it.

FOR FUCK SAKE DABI GOD DAMNIT FUCK

Istg if she's dead I'm gonna fucking riot. Man Shouto is not having a good time. Midoriya better has sit his ass down. The fuck are you gonna do? Cry at them?? You ain't got no arms bitch.

Oh look a new background for my phone.

(Edit: I like how the heat from his flames are warping the panels)

Izuku you are physically incapable of doing anything rn. Yeah Shouto is in pain but at least his bones weren't turn to liquid. Is Jeanist talking about Endeavour or himself? Cause Hawks is down for the count and I'd be pretty pissed if Hori let Enji keep his hero licence after this.

There was a house. I think it might have been Tenko's, I'm not sure. So anyway, Shiggy woke up and he's thinking to himself "Damn I'm itchy but I can't move. Lemme fix that." and then orders Machia to break free. So Machia is doing that and now Jeanist with his one (1) lung are having a hard time keeping up.

It's been like six months since I last visited duolingo but I'm pretty sure those sound effects say "Aaaaa" which I find hilarious. I also completely forgot this was happening. Is Shiggy calling back the NHE? Cause the others are fucked if that's what's happening.

I had the ending of this chapter spoiled for me so I already know who that is which sucks all the fun out of it but I'll act like I don't know who it is out of respect for their character.

Oh my god Burnin was save at the last second who could it possibly be????????

This panel looks really cool also Shouto's flames?

So Dabi and Shouto are battling it out final agnikai style and Shouto is all "So your the one who sent that villain to our house!!?! NATSUO ALMOST DIED YOU ASSHOLE!!! DON'T YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR FAVOURITE BROTHER?!!!!?!!!" And Dabi's stone cold response is "But Endeavour would have suffered" so Shouto has the natural response of "HAVE YOU COMPLETELY LOST YOUR MIND" to which Dabi responds with "YOUR GODDAMN RIGHT I DID." and how he no longer has the ability to care about anything anymore which is very sad but damnit this panel would look godly animated.

So Dabi is like "Now I can finally kill you" as he gets ready to kill Shouto and the NHE are showing up and Jeanist is completely out in the open now. Whatever shall happen now???? Oh dearist me. If only the heroes had another secret ace up their sleeve that was not in anyone's plans because of how unlikely it was to happen. I wonder.

DON'T YOU JUST LOVE IT WHEN PAST TRAUMA AND CURRENT TRAUMA MIX IN THE MOST TOXIC, SELF DEPRICATING WAY POSSIBLE???? Izuku, who has done literally everything in his power to keep everyone from a groosome desintergrating demise, the one who is physically incapable of moving, is really sitting here calling himself a useless hero because his body's natural instinct to not die, which he still has apparently, is preventing him from floating head first into the arms of Death. BOI YOU SHOULDN'T EVEN BE CONCIOUS RIGHT NOW WHAT DO YOU MEAN!??!!?

I swear if these kids don't get some therapy after this.

Oh my god it's lemillion what a surprise. Also, did he really just say "Pogchamp" lmfao. I'm still salty about being spoiled but that was really funny. How long has he had his quirk back? We know Aizawa has been training Eri's quirk but when did she get enough control to be able to fix him? I'm so glad she can control her quirk now cause it means she won't be scare of accidentally uno reversing someone out of existence.

Still very disappointed the Mirio reveal was spoiled for me. Pogchamp was hilarious but still. I'm sure the official translation will have him saying something boring like "POWERRRRRRRRR". Sigh. Welp time to commit verbal assassination.

Until next time.

[roxaeri]

Lemme tell you a little known fact about the Black Hills: there ain't much shit to do here.

Unless it's outdoorsy stuff like hiking or camping or swimming. Or going to Mt. Rushmore or Crazy Horse. (Here's a secret, lotta people who live here can go forever without going to any tourist attractions like that.) Wind Cave. Any number of caves, come on there's hills. Cosmos Mystery Area. Deadwood--that's like an old Midwest Gambling Town. Sturgis, just a small town except for like a few weeks in August where it has the biggest population in the US. (Bikers. Bikers everwhere. Just skulls, leather, and motorcycles.)

((I say Middle of Nowhere but even I gotta admit we're a fucking varied Middle of Nowhere))

Allergies and/or Sensitive Skin? Good fucking luck, my dudes. The Force be with you.

What does one do when you can't do any of that because you're eleven, sick, and bored??

Convince someone to take you on a drive around the hills

Is it the longest drive?? No. Depends on how fast you go, which turns you take, and how many stops you make if any. Longer than an hour tho

Aloy I-Volunteer-As-Tribute taking the chance to drive Deimos' sweet ass rental car. It's nice and newer than 2016, so a lot newer than her '99 Toyota Corolla (ha)

"I can see it anytime I want, you enjoy yourself."

Atreus in the backseat talking to them until he dozes on and off before he's fuckin Out (One of Kratos' solutions to Boy's insomnia is going for a drive around the hills because it's actually really soothing if somewhat simultaneously ominous so they just find it gREAT)

Fenrir wary of drives through the hills and being in cars but his Boy has not done him wrong yet so just keeps an eye out while Atreus sleeps

Y'all wanted Calliope and Kratos to chat after her drunken ranting???

BOOM

Now they're stuck in the truck together, just the two of them.

(And Jörmungandr who wants to soul-stare out the window but he is a pUPPY and tOo ShOrt so he's tucked himself behind Kratos' head because he likes to feel tall and freak out anyone who notices him)

"Calliope, do you remember all you said to me the other night?"

". . . I was hoping you forgot, actually. That was embarrassing."

"Would you have said anything otherwise?"

"I wouldn't have. That part was true."

"I'm sorry I didn't try harder to be your father after what happened. I truly believed you and your mother were better off without me in your lives after what happened."

"As an adult, I get that. I mean, I don't remember much of why mother divorced you. But we all left Greece a mess. Then your life here happened."

"You felt unimportant when you shouldn't have. Your mother and I failed you in that respect. We let our issues affect you to the point you didn't tell Deimos when you moved to France."

"True."

". . . Do you have a good life there?"

"The best. I never doubt that my friends love me. I love my job, my apartment, my roommate. I don't believe I'd have come if she hadn't convinced me to. My best friend."

Shenanigans? In this calm family drive?? It's more likely than you think. Such as:

Aloy, at the last possible second, swerving right to Deadwood instead of left because goddamn, she forgot about the construction of the road through the lakes

"What are they doing there?"

"Widening it. No longer feels like your car is about to go over the edge anymore."

". . . It was like what before?"

Kratos and Calliope struggling to stop Jörmungandr from jumping at the window because of another dog in the car passing them that looked at him wrong

"Pup pup pup--no!"

Kratos just doesn't know what Calliope's even muttering as she has descended into a mess of English, Greek, and French as she plays with and coos at the dachshund puppy in her lap

Atreus walking up from a dead sleep shouting in Faroese as he shoots up like a zombie from a grave and scaring Aloy so bad that Deimos is left scrambling for the wheel as she tries to keep her heart in her chest

Stopping in Deadwood because maybe it's time for Aloy and Deimos to switch but Calliope spots a thing and

"Old time photos?"

"You dress like they did here during the gold rush and take pictures like that."

"I've never actually done that. You?"

"Once with mom, but I was little."

"No time like the present, huh?"

Kratos looking like a bald and bearded Wild Bill Hickok

Oh my god, the fucking fringed smoked leather jackets and feather boas and corsets that Calliope is all too used to while Aloy kinda hates it until bio sibs simultaneously assure that she looks amazing and Atreus wraps a feather boa around himself, too

Atreus looking like a little old west lawman and set between his sisters while his dad and uncle look like they're ready for gun fight in an old west bar somewhere down the street

Calliope amazed by the history of the town because these people sound like characters in a story but it's all too real

"I think it's like that because that's how they treated it. I mean, Buffalo Bill Cody had this entire show that made it all seem like some sort of adventure tale; when really the gold rush broke the treaties with the tribes. Io:nhiòte has a lot more insight on that than I do."

And the rest of the drive is spent in a spotty conference call between cars talking about the American Old West

That night, Calliope follows Atreus because he has a book from Mimir about the history of the Black Hills that he thinks she should read

Calliope noticing the picture of her on her graduation day in France that Deimos took after she contacted him for the first time in years so she could have someone to celebrate her graduation with

"You have this?"

"Uh, yeah . . . Uncle Deimos sent it to me because he wanted me to see you wearing the flower crown I made. I didn't--know what else to do because I didn't know you and didn't have a lot of time. But he said you liked flowers, and my mom and the nurses taught me how to make them so I did and sent it. I, uh--"

Atreus nearly losing his shit because his sister just hugged him and kissed his head and it's the most affection he's gotten from the sister he nearly idolized since he found out about her

Calliope wanting to cry because my god he is too precious, too pure, and she very nearly fucked this up

And she loves that crown and now she gets why Deimos said it was from a fan of hers. She never would have worn it if she knew it was from Atreus because she was so bitter and angry--

"I used that crown on stage during my first professional performance."

"You did?"

"As Princess Cinderella. I still do whenever I'm asked to perform my solo."

"I didn't know you were Cinderella. I wanna see! I've seen Io:nhiòte dance but she says how you dance is different than how she dances."

"She is a traditional and contemporary dancer while I am trained in ballet and ballroom. I will have my roommate send me the performance video so you can see."

Calliope watching as their new family photo joins Atreus' wall of family, between her grad photo and one of him and Aloy dressed as Mario and Luigi

Just, a drive through the hills that makes everyone just a little bit closer each time

@ladymaliwan